What Did that Dream Mean?

“I had a fish dream about you. Are you pregnant?”

For me the current answer is no, I’m not pregnant, but growing up I had a few family members to pass on the infamous “fish dream” tradition.

The belief is that dreaming of fish symbolizes pregnancy and is a widely held superstition amongst people of color and particularly for African Americans. Those beliefs were passed down and rooted in our West African heritage which played a significant role in areas of divination and prophecy.

Basically, it’s a spiritual connection to our ancestors and higher powers so a fish dream could be interpreted as a message or warning from the spiritual realm about upcoming life changes, like a birth.

In therapy, dreams are frequently mentioned and clients simply want to understand their dreams and their connection to reality.

What is REM Sleep?

REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep is a stage of the sleep cycle characterized by quick, random movements of the eyes beneath closed eyelids. It holds a critical space in the phases of the sleep cycle and is particularly necessary for cognitive function, emotional health, and overall well-being. So if you’ve ever noticed yourself feeling worn out from the lack of restful sleep, reading this may help you to understand why it’s important to explore your sleep care needs. Without it, you may notice memory issues, difficulty concentrating, emotional instability, and even weakened coping skills.

What Happens When Dreaming?

The exact purpose of dreaming remains a mystery, yet they remain valuable in our process of understanding our emotions. During REM sleep, your subconscious puts on a fantastic show – but sometimes the plot can be tough to follow. (why were you on a trampoline in Indonesia?)

During REM sleep the brain becomes as active as it does during wakefulness. It’s while you’re settled into slumber that the brain processes your trough of memories, thoughts, and emotions in seemingly random ways, often blending them into dream narratives.

“A central function of dreams is to allow us access to thoughts and feelings we may not be aware of,” says Mark Smaller, PhD, president of the American Psychoanalytic Association. To deepen our understanding, we asked Smaller to explain the dream deciphering process and how to take a deep dive into our own subconscious.

Step One:

As soon as you wake up, write down everything you can recall about your dream, recording as many objects, people, and locations as possible. Says Smaller, “one of Freud’s greatest discoveries was that tiny elements of your dreams can point to big issues. A lot of information gets condensed into a small detail.”

Step Two:

Write down the association each detail carries for you. For example, if the dream took place in your childhood home, consider what’s significant about that place and how it might relate to the larger premise of the dream.

Step Three:

Write down the emotions the dream sparked. Were you exhilarated, afraid, upset, giddy? How about when you woke up?

Step Four:

Ask yourself what else in your life inspires the same emotions. For example, if your childhood home reminds you of being bullied by your older brother, think about what’s happening in your life now that parallels that experience.

Step 5:

Return to your list of associations and try to combine them into a single narrative. (Your childhood home reminds you of being bullied… The orange you were eating remind you of Florida… Your boss, who grew up in Miami, was pretty aggressive with you in that meeting yesterday…) Then go forth into your waking life armed with greater insight into what’s going on in your head.

Here are a few interesting examples provided:

Your teeth falling out…

Possible Meaning: “If in the dream you can’t speak, you may be feeling in waking life that there’s something you don’t want to — or can’t —say. If you can’t eat in the dream, it may be about unfulfilled desires (in fact, some interpret this dream as inherently sexual). Perhaps there something you’re hungry for.”

You Cheat on Your Partner, or Vice Versa

Possible Meaning: “First off, why now? What’s happening in your relationship that’s bringing this to the surface? The dream may be a measure of your anxiety about your — partner or it could also be that you saw someone attractive on the bus. Not all dreams have a deeper meaning.”

Seeing a UFO

Possible Meaning: “Maybe it sounds obvious, but the keyword here is invasion. Is something unwelcome intruding on your space right now? And consider what we know about heavy machinery: it doesn’t have feelings. Does that describe you — are you feeling dulled, like you’re on auto pilot?”

Many people are deeply interested in understanding their dreams and their meanings. Our dreams are a window into the subconscious mind, sparking curiosity about their symbolism, emotional messages, and potential guidance. If you’re looking for meaning, use your dreams as an opportunity to connect with and take care of your inner self. There’s so much value in self discovery!