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“They have their own problems; they don’t need mine too.”
In a world where independence is often celebrated as the hallmark of success, asking for help can at times feel like admitting defeat. Months ago a client sat before me, torn between pride and exhaustion. She confessed with her voice trembling, “I’ve always been the strong one and I don’t want to bother anyone.” We sat together this day and over the course of a few more months unpacking the thickened layers of long term disappointment and what she viewed as torn trust from asking for help in the past. During our time together, I learned that her fear was really about appearing weak conjoined with a deep desire for personal relief. This client would not be my first with similar sentiments, but it would lead me to think about in what ways we have conditioned ourselves to normalize the dysfunction in line of thinking.
Why is it so hard to confess that we need help?
Taking a trip down memory lane, I grew up in a family of a lot of women and although each of them had strong counterparts in their men, those women often primarily HELD IT DOWN! I distinctly remember watching my mother on her riding lawn mower cutting 2.5 acres of land. I also remember her washing and detailing her car on the weekends. Things I thought were cool as a kid to see that my mom could do the things my dad would often do. Later I learned that she was also doing those things not as a slight to my father, but as a gesture of strength in her independence. But I also remember hearing her outward confessions of fatigue.
But what’s the balance? Where’s the line…
The truth is, the strength to collaborate and welcome support is not a weakness—it’s really a superpower. Shifting your mindset lies at the heart of your personal wellness and mental health. It’s the ability to Save Your Self! By doing so that means you’re opening your life up to the right people, partnerships, and opportunities for collaboration.
The Paradox of Support
Too often, those who most need support actively resist it. Maybe you’ve been there and you hesitate to accept help because:
• Fear of Burdening Others: You don’t want to be “too much” for someone else to handle.
• Fear of Vulnerability: Accepting help means admitting that you can’t do it all, and that can feel unsettling.
• Fear of Losing Control: Letting others step in might mean doing things differently than you would have.
But the paradox is clear: distancing yourself from help also isolates you, amplifies your struggles, and ultimately makes achieving wellness that much harder.
Wellness Through Collaboration
Remember when we’re just kindergartners who no longer wanted mom or dad to hold our hand when we walked into school? I distinctly remember saying very clearly, “I can do it by myself!” This advocacy for trust in my independence was great as a developing child, but somewhere along the way I think we all took that advice too literally.
True wellness isn’t about doing everything yourself; it’s about building a life that feels balanced and supported. Collaboration—whether in your personal life, business ventures, or mental health journey—creates space for fresh perspectives, shared resources, and mutual growth.
When you open yourself up to support, you’re not just welcoming help; you’re actively choosing wellness. Here’s some good for thought… collaboration can save your self!!
To name a few, collaborating:
1. Reduces Mental Load: Sharing tasks and responsibilities frees up mental bandwidth to focus on what matters most.
2. Encourages Growth: Collaborating exposes you to new ideas, strategies, and ways of thinking.
3. Fosters Connection: Allowing others to support you deepens relationships and combats feelings of isolation.
4. Strengthens Resilience: Knowing you have a support system creates a safety net, making challenges feel less overwhelming.
The First Step: Creating Space
It’s officially a new year and that comes with a new way of thinking to encourage changed behaviors. Saving yourself starts with creating space—mentally and emotionally—for support to enter your life.
Here’s How:
• Reflect on Your Needs: What areas of your life feel overwhelming? Identify where support could help lighten the load. There’s a really great book by Dan Martell called “Buy Back Your Time.” He shares a really great rubric about identifying low value activities (i.e. cleaning house) , transferring them to someone else who enjoys it (hire a professional cleaner), then filling your time with high value activities (spending more time with family).
• Challenge Limiting Beliefs: Recognize the fears or narratives that keep you from accepting help. Ask yourself what does it say about me when I prioritize myself? How would I feel if I indulged in some “me time”?
• Practice Receiving: Start small. Say “yes” to offers of help and observe how it feels to let others assist you.
• Seek Collaborative Opportunities: In both personal and professional settings, look for chances to work with others toward shared goals.
Welcoming Wellness
During my upcoming Instagram Live conversation about collaboration, I’ll dive deeper into the mental health benefits of accepting support. There’s we’ll explore how saving yourself often means letting go of the need to do it all and embracing the power of partnership.
Today make a note-to-self, collaboration doesn’t just enrich your life—it can save it. By allowing others to support you, you’re not only building a network; you’re also creating a foundation for mental wellness, personal growth, and fulfillment.
Let’s start saving ourselves—together.
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